#EmotionlessEmotions PartII

..... Dear diary 19.02.16

Random thoughts, But not random influence.
Influence originating from what's around me.

The energy is familiar,nothing new .
The feeling on the other hand is not familiar.
Is it me ? Is it my mind?

The realities i avoid ,but subconsciously i face .
I mean i face the fear of my reality .
My anxiety, my adreanaline.
My mind, my thoughts ...

I meditate daily, i find peace.
I pray daily, i find comfort.

 But ,my weakness is i do not know how not to worry about the tomorrow i do not want to come.
I do not wish for this moment to last forever.
I wish for us to last forever.

Yes. Us!
You.
Me.
Us..... Baby, Us!

The thrill,
The desire,
The time .... Limited time,
The excitement .

You are my favourite drug.
That illegal drug.
I sneak around just to get it.
Expensive, yet keeps me going.

Consciously ,Subconsciously ..... Whatever. My adreanaline is as active.
My fears, My anxiety.

I pray ,I find happiness.
I meditate and keep calm.

Above all , I am happy.
Happy because "Us" makes me happy.
The thrill is addictively sweet.


#Ruddietude
#ThisTooShallPass