#EmotionlessEmotions

Emotionally , I was wounded.....
The wound never healed, the wound never got dry, the wound stayed fresh like it was yesterday.
But yesterday is gone , and even if I still feel the same, the same pain, the same strain... my tears rolling down like the first rains. Heavy, yet silent with no thunder but my heart does feel like thunder with warnings of a much greater storm.
My adrenaline rush has zero chill , zero chill because my sensitivity levels have no chill , no chill because the negative forces surrounding me are way beyond me.
I can't elaborate what they make me see, my dreams are like a revelation of what will soon be ...
My instincts are as accurate as Paul the octopus, never lie , I convince myself that "this too shall pass" , it always does . I have Jesus , I have yoga meditations.
My mind has been influenced by my experiences, hence my belief in killing characters and pretending they never existed working better than the thought of having to face the reality of losing someone and seeing them with another woman .
My necrophobia allows the possibility of my beliefs become my reality as I am weak mourner.
The piercings and tattoos are a reminder that pain is temporal, endurable and just a feeling like any other. Pain is sweet, it is justified by the fact that it does heal.
 Love on the other hand is a feeling I blocked through the bandages of the wounds that don't want to heal , am not complaining I do enjoy the thrill, I enjoy what I feel.


#Ruddietude