#EmotionlessEmotions PartII

..... Dear diary 19.02.16

Random thoughts, But not random influence.
Influence originating from what's around me.

The energy is familiar,nothing new .
The feeling on the other hand is not familiar.
Is it me ? Is it my mind?

The realities i avoid ,but subconsciously i face .
I mean i face the fear of my reality .
My anxiety, my adreanaline.
My mind, my thoughts ...

I meditate daily, i find peace.
I pray daily, i find comfort.

 But ,my weakness is i do not know how not to worry about the tomorrow i do not want to come.
I do not wish for this moment to last forever.
I wish for us to last forever.

Yes. Us!
You.
Me.
Us..... Baby, Us!

The thrill,
The desire,
The time .... Limited time,
The excitement .

You are my favourite drug.
That illegal drug.
I sneak around just to get it.
Expensive, yet keeps me going.

Consciously ,Subconsciously ..... Whatever. My adreanaline is as active.
My fears, My anxiety.

I pray ,I find happiness.
I meditate and keep calm.

Above all , I am happy.
Happy because "Us" makes me happy.
The thrill is addictively sweet.


#Ruddietude
#ThisTooShallPass

How to overcome the fear of #Failure in a start up Business

 Negative energy's such as the  #FearOfFailure can affect any start up #business as it will influence and affect your confident levels .

Overcoming the fear of failure may seem impossible but i believe the best way to overcome it is by KEEPING YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE!
Yes, the Prize , the very thing that you want to achieve so badly  , the same thing that prompted you to get up and start that buiness .

Entrepreneurship is not as easy as it seems. The sacrifices it comes with are so many. Time is never enough, Finances are not always accessible and if not careful ,it may lead to debt. Friends and Family don't always understand your dream and hence their support sometimes is insuffient which may also contribute to the thoughts of failing as you feel less people believe your your future success .

* Like I said "Keep your eyes on the prize" ,Your success does not depend on how many believe in you ,it is totally dependant on how you overcome the negative energy's that surround you.

Besides, the hardest part of starting your own business is the beginning and the fact that you have already started is a big step .

#entrepreneur #entrepreneurship #business #fearOfFailure #Ruddietude

Daddy ... Oh Daddy

So yesterday i spent my day traveling ,10 hour bus ride was heaven to me as i had a whole bunch of mixed emotions that i wasn't ready to express and i found peace as i looked out the window ,seeing endless bushes ,with the clouds dark as the rains poured the whole way through ..

Oh daddy...... Daddy!  Dadddddddddy! Its now 15 years and I still miss you the same, maybe even more now as i grow up and wish i had a second opinion, Your opinion not just everybody else as I transition into the lady am becoming. "What would he say? what would he think?  " I always ask myself.

Everyday i hear stories of "daddy's" that live their children, some that deny responsibilities , others are around but too busy to notice their children ... And i ask God why he lets the mean ones live ,and you that had time for us die...

Daddy, in this world full of the scornful ,full of people that pretend to love us, yet all they want is to use us... Who will protect me? I thought daddy's are there to be our "super hero's" , I wish i had my super hero everyday as i face the challenge of having to deal with wolves in sheep clothing.

I accepted that you are gone ,gone for good but my grief of loss is persistant as it pops up randomly . But today, i feel even more grieved as I am at a stage in life where am battling with decisions that will affect my future in a good or bad way depending on the path i'll take.
Am scared, fearful but i represent you ,i carry your name "Nakazwe" with pride For in me they see you.
I try to be strong, but sometimes being strong makes so weak.....

"August" Impressive and Respected , i choose to represent you that way . And overcome failure, as you said "My daughters will never be vulnaurable" and yes I choose to stand firm.

Daddy ,Ngolwe Sikazwe continue to rest in peace as your memory lives on here on earth .

29 January 2001 ....  You went too early.

#Ruddietude #ThisTooShallPass

Importance of interacting with your clientele #SocialMedia

I don't like refering to myself as  a #Tweeleb "Twitter Celeb" , though thats a term that we get refered to as when you are super active and have a good following , but then again not like i even have a good following yet. lol, I still have a long way to go.

Living my life on twitter and basically tweeting everything i do, eat , drink , watch and also mention people am with is  lifestyle i adopted due to my twitter addiction and due to my consistency i realized i was drawing some attention and also influencing some followers with my tweets and with that some people would ask me to tweet for them ,share links , posts and so on.
Without realizing ,i was offering free marketing services until one day early 2014, I got an email from Ground Focus to help hype premier the Dstv lifestyle show "Kumwesu"  season 2 on social media .There and then i realised my audience was bigger than i thought.
In the same year, (september 2014) while "twatching" ,watching tv and tweeting every channel i was tuning into ,i got a DM from DSTV awarding me a shopping voucher because they thought i was amazing and that taught me my second lesson "they want me to keep watching dstv and indirectly marketing for them hence the awarding of incentives to loyal viewers" .

I can go all day naming the "freebies" i've received off social media without having to compete for them but thats besides my reason of writing today.
Social Media Marketing is the quickest and easiest way of reaching out to your audience and clientele regardless of what sector in society you represent whether Creative arts or  Corporate as the internet is the fastest growing "planet"  such that brand owners ,company's and individuals are seeing the need to use this modern form of marketing for a bigger reach to generate high profits ,sales and also get direct feedback ,opinions and views from clients and audience online .

As a practicing Social Media Marketing and online Business development Consultant i have come to understand the importance of knowing your target audience and understanding the need to keep them enganged and loyal to your products and services as there is always something better out there .
Interacting with your clientele and audience will not only make them fall inlove with your brand but will keep them loyal as everybody ,everyone in business wants to feel important and with no questions asked, your consumers,audience and clientele needs to feel as important .


#SocialMedia #SocialMediaMarketing #Marketing #Ruddietude

"baby, I want some"

You know those moments when you see a guy and instantly crush on him but can't openly tell him because "you are a girl, girls don't step up to a guy and express their feelings". The awkwardness though! In my case ,i came across this guy during 2014 Bigbrother Africa Auditions that i thought was hot and my friend Tanny convinced me to tell him and so I did and right there we got into a conversation and forgot about the awkward moment of me having made the first move. The act itself made me feel good about myself and boosted my selfesteem of being able to freely express myself even towards the opposite sex with no fear and it got me thinking , how did the guy feel? was his esteem degraded? did he wish he approached me first?

 It comes back to couples, how many ladies freely speak out and tell their Men that "they want some" without the thought of having to wonder whether or not he'll think she's just a horny freak. Are we just going to continue to die inside because of tradional or cultural values?

What about our personal values? How come the guys are naturally confident ? What boosts their ego because i believe in equality and freedom of expression in whatever way without fear or limitation regardless of gender . What if the man is not delivering to the womans expectation? How will he know if he is not overuled or criticized?

 #Ruddietude #GenderEquality #Feminist #Feminism #BlackOfSteel

The man is just as vulnerable

We all believe the man is the head, the man is the protector and he prides in it but in reality and in the cases of #GenderBasedViolence men are as equally vulnerable as women. They too are weak in certain instances.

A few weeks ago, i had gone to reduce the size of my dress in kamwala and the tailor was a man so I asked him his views over the topic and his response was "who would believe me if i said my wife had beaten me up, even the police don't believe us men " "mukazi wako anga kumenye ninshy weo wankala che? " is a common question at the police stations.
The loss of pride as a man is what generally keeps them quiet as they cover up the shame of failing to defend themselves from offenders.
Sexually, reports on men/boys being sexually abused are not common  but that does not mean it doesn't happen. We hear of stories of how men are molested ,defiled and raped by fellow men in prisons, schools and so on but how many of them can open up and share their stories as victims of GBV?

The embarrassment and shame felt is what makes "us" bound. How will people see me, How will the community take my story, will i be able to stand the judgement and critism ?
Mentally, the victims are traumatized and tortured and this ends up ruining their social lives. Most victims also end up as offenders .

The fight against gender based violence in Zambia continues with hopes that men can come out too more often and report cases

#GenderBasedViolence #MaleVictimsOfGBV #GBV #Ruddietude

My role in life is just to do chores.

At 19 , she works as a maid, not what she dreamed of as a child but her dreams of being educated died when she passed her grade 7 exams but had no one to pay for her Junior high school fees.
With her Mother living in Samfya of Luapula Province and she not knowing who her Father is ,Kamfya grew up in the hands of her Mother's sister right there in the very village where she was brought up without any form of segregation amongst her cousin's except she was not allowed to go to school because her Aunts husbands relatives could not allow them to and so she stayed home doing the chores.
At the age of 17(2013) , she decided to visit her Grandfather at his request on the Copperbelt in Mufulira's Mupambe compound. In the beginning everything seemed fine until her Grandfather remarried and his new wife took over as head of the house bringing along her own family and life for Kamfwa changed to it's worst as sometimes she would go to bed without eating but still made to do the dishes and extra chores daily with her Grandfather having no say.
Having had enough of the mistreatment she decided to try her luck as a maid where she hopes someday after saving enough she would take herself back to school and become the nurse she has always dreamed of even though she believes she it is too late .


How would you convince Kamfwa it's never too late to go back to school as her way of thinking has been influenced by her state of living as a child in the various homes she lived in and also by being convinced that her role in life is just to do chores for people .

#EducateTheGirlChild #ChildLabour #Reduceilliteracy #GBV #Zambia
#Ruddietude